MY MODELS



My Lighthouses



Part 1


I made seven lighthouses in the space of exactly a year; the time between starting work on the first of those, and my completion of the seventh of those was from Sunday the 19th of July 2015 to Tuesday the 19th of July 2016. Before I started work on the sixth and latest one, on Wednesday the 11th of May 2016, I decided to watch the first Shrek film on DVD before I was due to go out with one of my support workers at 7:00 pm. I put the DVD on at 5:30 pm, and during the time I was watching the DVD, my Mum called me to say that my support worker rang her to tell me that he couldn’t take me out because he got stuck in traffic. I was disappointed about that, and because of how I felt, I took the DVD out of the DVD machine, and smashed up the disc and case for it. I then put the broken bits of the disc and case in a used bubble bath bottle and filled it up with water. I then shook the bottle to a couple of songs; one was a concert performance of the song Up On Cripple Creek by The Band, and the other was Bridge To Your Heart by Wax.


I was out with one of my other support workers walking in the woods to make up for missing my usual time out. We were out for over an hour, and for the whole of that time, I was listening to 16 songs on my MP3 Player by the band R.E.M. The sixteenth and last one of those I was listening to during which we got back, and it wasn’t quite night time. Below this paragraph is a list of the 16 R.E.M. songs I listened to on my MP3 Player from when we had just left the house to when we had just got back in the space of over an hour; they were in this order.


1. Man On The Moon

2. The Great Beyond

3. Bad Day

4. What’s The Frequency, Kenneth?

5. All The Way To Reno

6. Losing My Religion

7. E-Bow The Letter

8. Orange Crush

9. Imitation Of Life

10. Daysleeper

11. Animal

12. The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite

13. Stand

14. Electrolite

15. The One I Love

16. Supernatural Superserious


As you can see, I have given the songs above blue Wikipedia links so that anyone who reads this bit can find out more about any one of them on Wikipedia. I can’t give the fourth one in the list above a blue Wikipedia link because it has an apostrophe in the title which stops me hyper-linking it.


On Thursday the 16th of June 2016, I listened to those 16 R.E.M songs on my MP3 player again in exactly the same order when one of my other support workers took me to a different part of the woods that we sometimes go to as a result of my support worker again not being able to take me out due to being held up at his other job.


Just before I went on holiday to Southwold in Suffolk the very next day, I sent an email to my support worker on Facebook to tell him that I didn’t want to go out with him anymore because I felt he was becoming unreliable, but not so much in a bad way. He replied to my message, and in his reply, he said he very much understood, and the fact that he had been shattered in the evenings from being at his other job earlier in the day. I can safely say, I feel no animosity in me towards him whatsoever as I very much know he didn’t keep letting me down in deliberate circumstances, let alone the fact that he wouldn’t have. I am also still friends with him on Facebook. It wasn’t the same support worker I have been going out with in the mornings.


After an unsuccessful attempt to find a replacement for my support worker, One of my other support workers offered to take me out twice a week to make up for me not going out with my support worker twice a week anymore, and I accepted the offer.


Anyway, back to the subject of lighthouses, On the same day I completed the sixth and latest one, I took a photo of the latest four that I used to have, and below this paragraph is the photo of them. As you can see, One is blue, two of them are green, and the other one is dark purple.




THE PERCEPTIONS OF DEREK ROGERS Mail: greywhistle@gmail.com?subject=Website Feedback

I took all four of the lighthouses shown above to my Nan’s house on Sunday the 29th of May 2016 when my Mum and I were going there for my birthday for the 21st time in a row. My Nan’s partner came and collected us.


The next day, the 30th of May, which was the day of my 29th birthday, we went for a walk along the canal, and I took two of the lighthouses with me which were the blue one and the dark purple one. My Nan couldn’t come with us on the walk because she had a rather nasty accident earlier in 2016; she accidentally fell over and broke her hip. She can walk now, but she still hasn’t fully recovered yet. I just hope she won’t mind me mentioning that on my website. Anyway, we walked southwards along the canal, and went as far as I planned to a student bar beside the canal. We went into the bar, and I gave the woman behind the bar the dark purple lighthouse which I made, and she was very pleased with it, though she suggested it should be kept in the bar so that the people going there can see it. When I ordered my second coke, I gave another woman behind the bar the blue lighthouse which I made, and she was very pleased with it.


The following day, the 31st of May, we went to a restaurant for something to eat, and I took the two green lighthouses with me, and I gave them to two people who were working there that day. They were very pleased with them. It was the same restaurant that we went to on the 29th of May, the day before my birthday.



Part 2


On Monday the 18th of July 2016, almost exactly one year to the day I started work on my first lighthouse, I started work on a seventh lighthouse, and this happened just before, I was watching Chicken Run on DVD which I put on at the right time for the film to end just before I was to go out with my Community Nurse. Anyway, during the film, my Mum told me that my Community Nurse rang her to let us know that he was going to be late due to an emergency which he had to deal with. Because of that, I took the DVD out of the machine, and I smashed the disc up as well as the box for it, and I put the broken bits of the disc and the case into a used bubble bath bottle, along with the DVD cover. I then filled it up with water, and I then shook it to the song Bat Out Of Hell by Meat Loaf, after which there was a real mess in the bottle. As you can see, there is a red link in this paragraph to the song on YouTube for anyone who wants to listen to it, and there is also a blue link to the singer in this paragraph for anyone who wants to find out more about him on Wikipedia.


Anyway, I was going to go out with my Community Nurse at 12:00 midday, but I went out with him at 12:40 pm because of the emergency he had to deal with. After I got back from being out with him, I started work on the lighthouse, and I managed to complete it on the evening of Tuesday the 19th of July 2016 which was one year to the day I started work on my first lighthouse. I didn’t expect to complete it that quickly. For the life of me I can’t remember what I did with that one though I know I did give it away.



My No Ordinary Houses



Part 1


In early November 2016, I smashed up two DVDs of mine that wouldn’t work properly, and I put all the smashed bits of the discs and the boxes into a used bottle of squash, filled it up with water, and shook the bottle to a YouTube video of an instrumental version of ‘I Can’t Tell You Why’ by The Eagles. I kept having to change hands while I was doing it, and the video is five and a quarter minutes long. As you can see, there is a red link to the video on YouTube in this paragraph for anyone who wants to click on that link and listen to the instrumental version of the song on YouTube, and there is also a blue Wikipedia link to the band in this paragraph for anyone who wants to find out more about the band on Wikipedia, though I wouldn’t expect anyone to do both those things at once.


After I shook the bottle to the video on YouTube, there was a real mess in the bottle once again. I then wrapped it up with kitchen paper and sellotape, and I didn’t feel that it looked a good enough shape for it to be made into an eighth lighthouse, so instead, I decided to make a no ordinary house out of it. I completed it in a short space of time, and my Mum’s boyfriend Mick was in the house, and when I showed it to him, he said it looked like an Oast House. I didn’t know what an Oast House was, and I was told that they are kind of farmhouses, and that have them in Kent. On Monday the 5th of December 2016, Mick and I went to this pub that I like called ‘The Pelden Rose’. I took the house with me, and I gave it to the man behind the bar who knows us well now, and he was very pleased with it.


Below this paragraph is a picture of the no ordinary house I took in my bedroom before I gave it away the the man in the ‘Pelden Rose’ pub. Don’t ask me why I’ve decided to include these in the picture as well, but as you can see, next to the no ordinary house on the right is a collection of 25 CDs I had prepared as a raffle prize for a party my Mum and I went to on Wednesday the 21st of December 2016. The collection of the 25 CDs were in five colours, five CD cases for each colour. I have got copies of those 25 CDs for myself as well. The party I went to on the 21st of December 2016 was an ASAP Christmas Party, and ASAP stands for ‘Aspergers Syndrome, Adults and Parents’. They are a committee who have been active since 2005, and have two parties in Chelmsford year (one in July and one in December), and they have meetings there in the other months of the year except August due to holidays in that month. Those that went to the ASAP Christmas Party on the 21st of December 2016 was required to bring a raffle prize, and was allowed to win no more than two raffle prizes. My Mum and I used to go to the meetings as well as the parties, but we only go to the parties now. Can I just point out, my Mum does not have Aspergers.






Part 2


On Tuesday the 13th of December 2016, I was due to go out with my community nurse at 12:00 midday, but my Mum had a phone call from him to let us know that he was going to be late because of an emergency he had to deal with. He eventually came at 1:40 pm, and I was out with him for a couple of hours as I usually am.


Anyway, I had ordered myself ‘Chicken Run’ on DVD some time before, and on the day my community nurse was very late in taking me out, I had started the DVD at 10:40 am so that it would have finished just before 12:00 midday. After my Mum told me that my community nurse was going to be late because of the emergency he had to deal with, I took the DVD out of the machine, and I smashed up the disc as well as the box for it. I then put all the broken bits of the disc and box of the DVD into a used bubble bath bottle along with the slogan for the DVD. I then filled the used bubble bath bottle up with water and put the lid on tight, and later, just after my community nurse phoned my Mum to let us know that he was on his way, and just before he arrived, I shook the bottle to the instrumental version of ‘I Can’t Tell You Why’ by The Eagles on YouTube, and one again, there was a real mess in the bottle afterwards. To re-emphasize the ability for anyone reading this to listen to the instrumental version of The Eagles song on YouTube, again, I have added a red YouTube link to it in this paragraph should anyone want to do that.


I went out with my community nurse at 1:40 pm, and after we got back at about 3:40 pm, I wrapped the bubble bath bottle with the destroyed ‘Chicken Run’ DVD and the water in it up with kitchen paper, and started work on making it into another no ordinary house. I have decided not to watch a DVD anymore before going out with my community nurse because I don’t want to keep lacking compunction to smash it up due to having to go out with him later than usual at short notice because of him having to deal with an emergency all of a sudden.


Anyway, I completed the no ordinary house the following day, Wednesday the 14th of December 2016 after working on it for over a day (one and off not constantly). It’s actually a second raffle prize I had ready for the ASAP Christmas party that my Mum and I went to on the 21st of December 2016. The CDs were won, but nobody seemed to want the no ordinary house that I made, so I took it home with me from the party. Below this paragraph is a picture of the no ordinary house next to the collection of 25 CDs that I made ready for the raffle at the party. As You can see in the picture, because the fan was thoroughly cleaned before I took this picture, it is much cleaner than it was in the the previous picture with the other no ordinary house next to the 25 CDs.


I went to my Nan and Granddad’s house for a couple of days in early January 2017 so that my Nan’s partner could take us round London to see the Christmas lights before they came down. I took the no ordinary house that nobody at the ASAP Christmas Party wanted with me to their house, and on the same day my Nan’s partner took me in his car to their house, we had something to eat in our usual place, and I took the no ordinary house with me to the place, and gave it to someone that works there and knows us well. She was very pleased with it. We even went to see the Christmas lights on the same day.



Part 3


On Sunday the 15th of January 2017, I started work on a third no ordinary house out of another used bubble bath bottle. Inside it is Josh Widdicombe’s second live DVD called What Do I Do Now smashed up. It was one of six stand-up comedy DVDs I got for Christmas in 2016. As usual, I was aiming to watch the DVD without accidentally catching sight of any young audience members being filmed as well as on the others, and I kept accidentally slipping up a lot whilst watching the Josh Widdicombe DVD. I didn’t manage to watch the whole show as it got to the point where the animosity in me boiled over into what I described it as a bad day in Heaven. No offence obviously to the young audiences who were filmed during the DVD recording, let alone the older ones as well, and once again it wasn’t seeing them laughing that was the problem. Apparently my Mum didn’t know about this at the time, and I know there should have been a better way for me to handle this one, but it led to me smashing up the disc for the DVD as well as the box for it, after which I put all the broken bits of the disc and box in the used bubble bath bottle as well as the DVD’s slogan. I apologise to Josh should he read this, and I also apologise to any members of the audience who were at the show that was filmed for the DVD should they read this, and although there is a green Amazon link to the DVD in this paragraph for anyone who wants to order the DVD, I won’t want to own it again.


I filled the used bubble bath bottle up with water, and I then shook it to the song Anarchy In The UK by The Sex Pistols on YouTube. Once again, there was a real mess in the bottle after that. I then started work on making my third no ordinary house which I completed some time later. I can’t remember when I finished it, which is not usually like me. I went through a period of not being able to work on it at all having run out of sellotape in the middle of working on it. My Mum eventually bought me some more sellotape so that I could finish it off, and I did. If I can change the subject a little for now, I have ordered for myself Josh Widdicombe’s other live DVD called And Another Thing which I originally got for Christmas in 2013. I don’t watch the show on the DVD, just my most favourite extra on it which is a seven minute video of other comedians doing impressions of Josh Widdicombe. Anyway, below this paragraph is a photo I took of the no ordinary house on the very same day that I completed it.



I took it with me to my Nan and her partner Tom’s house in London when Tom took me in his car to their house on Monday the 13th of March 2017, and I gave it to my Nan to give to a neighbour of hers whose name I won’t mention in case I don’t have the right to use it on this page on my website. I know which one I am taking about as my Nan has known her for a long time though I haven’t actually met her. I was out with Tom at the canal though it wasn’t the same bit that we usually walk by on my birthday, and during that time, my Nan saw her neighbour out of the window, and she went outside with my no ordinary house, and she gave it to her, and she was so pleased with it. My Nan told me when Tom and I got back that she gave it to her, and that she was very pleased with it, and also that she put it in her cabinet. I was very happy about that, as it was a bonus for me that she gave it to her in the two days that I was staying with her and Tom. Apparently, when my Mum used to live with My Nan, as a teenager, she knew my Nan’s neighbour when she was a young girl.


Tom took me home on Wednesday the 15th of March 2017, and my Nan came with me. After we got home, my Nan’s sister Pat visited us for the evening. She didn’t stay the night, and neither did Nan and Tom. We had food from the chip shop; I had battered sausage and chips as usual while the others had their own food from there. I didn’t mind having our takeaway day being swapped to a different day. It does sometimes happen.


I’m not going to make anymore lighthouses or no ordinary houses because I have lost interest in making lighthouses, and I used the same three colours, red, blue and yellow (the primary colours) on each of the three no ordinary houses I made, and used each of those three colours for the bottom, middle and top parts on them. I have started making no ordinary pubs in exactly the same way I had been making the lighthouses and no ordinary houses. I have made two no ordinary pubs so far, both of which will be mentioned in the next part on this penultimate section on my website.




My No Ordinary Pubs



Part 1


On Friday the 9th of June 2017, I started work on this no ordinary pub which I am using out of a used black-current juice bottle. Inside it is my black MP3 player smashed up in pieces. I had it for over three years.


After I got back with my support worker before midday that day, I found that my black MP3 player had stopped working properly, as a result of which, I got a big pair of scissors from downstairs, and I hit the mini screen on my black MP3 player with the pair of big scissors to Anarchy In The UK by The Sex Pistols on YouTube 4 to the bar. Apparently, it sustained a total of 425 hits of the big pair of scissors, but for all that time I remained absolutely calm, not a touch of stress, which is a major achievement compared to how I was ten years ago. I had been listening to music on my silver MP3 player in the time I was out with my support worker earlier that day. I got that one for Christmas in 2016, so I’ve still got that.


I can safely say, I ordered myself a new MP3 player from Amazon for just £11.89 before I did what I did to my black MP3 player on the very same day. It came in the post the next day, and it’s a purple. It’s got all exactly the same music on it that was on the black MP3 player.


Anyway, I completed my no ordinary pub on Tuesday the 13th of June 2017, and it’s in the shape of a lighthouse, and it’s got three floors. I don’t know of anyone being aware of a pub ever having three floors. Also, I have given it the name ‘The Pilot & Sailor’, which is a homage to two of the great bands of the 1970s, Pilot and Sailor.


I went on holiday with my Mum, my Nan and her partner Tom to Whitstable in Kent on the 24th of June 2017; Tom took my Mum and I to their house in London the day before. I took the ‘Pilot & Sailor’ pub with me to the place we stayed in in Whitstable, and it was for the person who let us stay in the place we did stay in for a week as a special thank you from me.


The day before we left our place in Whitstable, I left a note beside the ‘Pilot & Sailor’ pub to thank the owner of the place we stayed in, and that the no ordinary pub was for that owner, and also that the name of it was a homage to two great bands of the 1970s, which I don’t need to mention for a second time what they are in this part. Below this paragraph is a picture I have taken of the ‘Pilot & Sailor’ pub the very same day I completed it.



The day we left Whitstable, we got back to my Nan and her partner’s house in London, and the next day, her partner took my Mum and I home, and my Nan came with us. He obviously took her home to their house later in the day.



Part 2


On Wednesday the 14th of June 2017, I smashed up three of my stand-up comedy DVDs that I got for Christmas in 2016 as a result of me accidentally slipping up too many times by accidentally catching sight of young audience members being filmed. I know which DVDs they were, but I’m not going to say what those three were for fear of causing upset to the comedians who recorded them should any one of them read this bit on my website.


I smashed up the discs and the boxes for them, and then decided to put them into another used squash bottle, and make a second no ordinary pub. I had to cut up the smashed up discs and the smashed up boxes and also the plastic coverings on them that protected their slogans, so that I could fit every last bit of it into the used squash bottle.


The next day, Thursday the 15th of June 2017, I managed to completely get all of the broken bits of all three of the smashed up stand-up comedy DVDs into the squash bottle, along with the plastic bits on them cut up into little pieces. I did also manage to get all three of the DVD slogans into the squash bottle rolled up. After I did all that, I filled the used squash bottle with water, and put the lid on.


Two days after that, Saturday the 17th of June 2017, I shook the bottle to this YouTube clip of The Clash performing the song Tommy Gun on a music programme called Something Else in 1978. You’ll see which clip I’m taking about if you click on The Clash - Tommy Gun (Live Something Else 1978). It’s three minutes long. It’s my most favourite live version of that Clash song apparently.


Anyway, after I shook the bottle to that clip, there was a real mess inside it once again. After I started wrapping the bottle up with kitchen paper and sellotape, I shook the bottle to two Pink Floyd songs. One was Obscured By Clouds, and the other was Childhood’s End, both of which are on the band’s lesser known album Obscured By Clouds, released in 1972.


Either of the Pink Floyd songs are worth listening to via the red links in this paragraph for anyone at all who hasn’t heard of either of them, especially if you are a Pink Floyd fan. Both those songs are among the few Pink Floyd songs I like listening to because I didn’t make up my own words to either of them, and the fact that the first of those tracks mentioned in this paragraph is an instrumental track. I even heard them both way after I had been making up my own words to some of the Pink Floyd songs I had been listening to in the past before I went off them some time after because of the embarrassment of making up my own words to them because it doesn’t feel right for me anymore.


Anyway, after I shook the bottle to both the Pink Floyd songs and The live version of the Clash song, all respectively mentioned in the previous two paragraphs, I started work on a second no ordinary pub which I completed on Friday the 23rd of June 2017. I have given it the name ‘The Styx & Speedwagon’ which is a homage to two of the great bands of the 1970s and 1980s Styx and REO Speedwagon. This one had got four floors, whereas the other no ordinary pub called ‘The Pilot & Sailor’ has got three floors.


The ‘Styx & Speedwagon’ pub was intended to be a three floored pub just like the ‘Pilot & Sailor’ pub, but on this one, I inadvertently managed to make the windows small enough for it to be a four floored pub, and I am absolutely fine about that can I just point out. I couldn’t give it the name ‘The Styx & REO Speedwagon’ because for me it didn’t quite sound right. Below this paragraph is a picture of the ‘Styx & Speedwagon’ pub I took with my digital camera the very same day I completed it.




I took it with me to my Nan and her partner’s house when my Nan’s partner took my Mum and I to his and my Nan’s house in London the day before we left their house for Whitstable for our holiday there for a week. We previously stayed in Whitstable for a week in 2014, though we didn’t stay in exactly the same place. I didn’t take the ‘Styx & Speedwagon’ pub to Whitstable with me like I did the ‘Pilot & Sailor’ pub.


After our holiday in Whitstable in 2017, I deliberately left the ‘Styx & Speedwagon’ pub at my Nan and her partner’s house when my Nan’s partner took my Mum and I home from their house after our holiday in Whitstable and my Nan came with us; I left it in her bedroom. The reason I deliberately left it behind was because I already know what I plan to do with it the next time I stay with them at their house.



Part 3


On Tuesday the 11th of July 2017, I smashed up my Kevin Bridges DVD that I had ordered for myself the previous week. I had been experiencing major levels of stress just before it happened because I couldn’t stop picturing in my head previous audience members from previous stand-up comedy DVDs that I got in the past and had previously watched at the time. Once again, sorry Kevin.


I put all the smashed up bits of the box and the disc for the DVD inside this used sprite bottle along with the DVD’s slogan, after which I filled it up with water. I then shook the bottle to seven songs. Once again, there was a total mess inside the bottle even after I shook it to the first song mentioned in the list above. After I shook it to all seven of those songs, I started wrapping it up with kitchen paper and sellotape. I ran out of sellotape before I finished working on the third no ordinary pub.


It wasn’t until Monday the 17th of July that I was able to continue working on this third no ordinary pub when my Mum got me two more rolls sellotape in Sainsbury’s so that I could continue doing so. I unexpectedly used both of those sellotape rolls up by wrapping it up along with some more kitchen paper. As well as having used both of them up, I’ve finished wrapping it up now, and plus added bonus, it’s now completed; I completed it on Thursday the 20th of July. Below this paragraph is a picture of the no ordinary pub I have taken with my digital camera the very same day I completed it.


As you can see, unless you suffer from short sightedness or something, I have given it the name ‘The Eagle & Genesis’. The name for the pub is a homage to two of the greatest bands of all time, The Eagles and Genesis.


On the 7th of September 2017, I went out with my Community Nurse, and I gave it to him as a present, and he was very pleased with it.



Part 4


On Thursday the 17th of August 2017, I ordered for myself a stand-up comedy DVD that was released in November 2015. I’m not going to say what it was as I don’t want to risk causing upset for the comedian who recorded it should he read this, though at least it wasn’t a debut one. I had this planned, and it was I would cut the disc up and the box and the plastic slogan covering with a good pair of scissors after it arrives in the post, and it did on the 19th of August 2017, and that’s exactly what I did with it. After I did so, I put all the little cut up bits of the disc, box and plastic covering for the slogan inside this use coke bottle along with the DVD’s slogan which I rolled up just before putting it inside the bottle. I then filled it up with water, and then shook it to 17 songs on YouTube.


Below this paragraph is a list of the 17 songs I am talking about, The first ten songs in the list are by the band The Jam, all of which had previously appeared on the band’s greatest hits compilation, and are the first ten tracks on that very album. All of the YouTube videos that there are red links to are a mixture of ‘Top Of The Pops’ performances, still picture videos, and music videos, and are the very ones that I shook the bottle to. Once again, there was obviously a real mess inside the bottle even after I shook it to the first song in the list. The last one of them has been mentioned earlier on in this section.


1. The Jam - In The City

2. The Jam - All Around The World

3. The Jam - The Modern World

4. The Jam - News Of The World

5. The Jam - David Watts

6. The Jam - Down In The Tube Station At Midnight

7. The Jam - Strange Town

8. The Jam - When You’re Young

9. The Jam - The Eton Rifles

10. The Jam - Going Underground

11. The Stranglers - Peaches

12. The Skids - The Saints Are Coming

13. Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster

14. Cockney Rejects - I’m Not A Fool

15. Secret Affair - Let Your Heart Dance

16. 10cc - Life Is A Minestrone

17. The Sex Pistols - Anarchy In The UK


The last three song mentioned in the list above I shook the bottle to after I started wrapping it up with kitchen paper and sellotape, but what can be wrong with that. I completed the no ordinary pub on Wednesday the 23rd of August 2017 which I’ve given it the name ‘The Beach & City’. Below this paragraph is a photo of it which I took west in my home toilet the very same day I completed it. The reason I photographed it in the toilet is because in my bedroom, there was too much light from the daylight shining on it.




Part 5


This fifth no ordinary pub I have been working on was completed on the 24th of August 2017, the very next day after I completed the ‘Beach & City’ no ordinary pub. This is one I am keeping for myself and is called ‘The Beetle & Rolling Stone’ which is a homage to two other greatest bands of all time, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. As you can see, below this paragraph is a picture of the no ordinary pub I have taken with my digital camera once again west in my home toilet. I took it in there for exactly the same reason as with the ‘Beach & City’ no ordinary pub which I completed and photographed the day before.




My Other Models



Part 1


I started work on this no ordinary funhouse on Friday the 15th of September 2017 after having smashed up three DVDs that had just stopped working properly. Two of them were two ‘Bottom’ live DVDs, and the other was a ‘Thunderbirds’ DVD. My DVD machine could no longer read the two ‘Bottom’ live DVDs, and the ‘Thunderbirds’ DVD was apparently scratched.


After I smashed up the discs for them, I put them into this squash bottle that I had emptied. It wasn’t full or even half full. I also put the slogans for all three of the DVDs into the bottle, but this time, I didn’t cut up the boxes and put them into the bottle as well because I knew there wouldn’t be enough room.


I then filled it up with water and later shook it to five songs on YouTube. Once again, there was a real mess inside the bottle after I shook it to the first song. I started wrapping it up with kitchen paper and sellotape just after I shook it to the second song. Below this paragraph is a list of the five songs that I shook the bottle to, some of which have been mentioned earlier in this section.


I completed the no ordinary funhouse on Sunday the 17th of September 2017. I have given it the name ‘The Car & Dolphin’ which is a homage to me enjoying being in the car in the front seat as a passenger with whoever is doing the driving, and when Billy Connolly thoroughly enjoyed going scuba diving and seeing some dolphins during an episode of ‘Billy Connolly’s World Tour Of Australia’. Below this paragraph is a picture of the ‘Car & Dolphin’ funhouse which I took in the toilet the very same day I completed it.


The ground floor of the funhouse is a pub, the first floor is a pub and party area, hence the sign on the wall of the first floor saying ‘The Pub & Party Area’, and the second floor is a bar and swimming area, hence the sign on the wall of the second floor saying ‘The Bar & Swimming Area’. As you can see, a part of the second and top floor has got strong glass with bars coming down on it.



Part 2


On the evening of the 1st of October 2017, I started work on this entertainment pub. Just before I started working on it, I smashed up one of my MP3 players because it wasn’t working properly. After I did smash it up, I put all the broken bits of it inside this used squash bottle along with six pieces of writing that were no longer important to me, filled the bottle up with water, and shook it to 17 songs, and below this paragraph is a list of what they are.


1. Madonna - Vogue

2. The Jam - Precious

3. 10cc - Life Is A Minestrone

4. The Clash - Tommy Gun

5. Ian Dury - I’m Partial To Your Abracadabra

6. Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation

7. Pink Floyd - Sheep

8. Bill Wyman - (Si Si) Je Suis Un Rock Star

9. Yes - Tempus Fugit

10. Yes - Into The Lens

11. Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart

12. Yes - Leave It

13. Yes - It Can Happen

14. Yes - Rhythm Of Love

15. Wham! - Last Christmas

16. The Beach Boys - Sumahama

17. The Pretenders - Stop Your Sobbing


Once again, there was a real mess inside the bottle even after I shook it to the first song on YouTube in the list above. I started wrapping the bottle up with kitchen paper and sellotape just before I shook it to the fourth song on YouTube in the list.


I completed the Entertainment pub on the 4th of October 2017 just after midnight before going to bed, and below this paragraph is a picture I have taken of it in the toilet south-west.


On Thursday the 19th of October 2017, a friend of one of my support workers was visiting him, and I gave the ‘Band & Benefit’ entertainment pub to her. She moved up to Hull earlier in the year. 2017 is also the year of culture for Hull.



Part 3


I started to work on this no ordinary hotel on Thursday the 12th of October 2017. The day before I starting working on it, I put the first disc of a two disc DVD in my DVD player, and it wasn’t reading the disc properly, and after about 30 seconds, I could tell that it wasn’t going to read it at all due to disc error, so I took the disc out of the machine, and I got a pair of scissors from the kitchen, and I cut the disc up. I cut up the second disc as well because of this feeling l have in me that for me, one disc of a two disc DVD is no good enough without the other.


The last sentence of the previous paragraph is of similar vein to the concept of a cluster robot in Robot Wars where as soon as one part is gone, the whole lot is gone. A cluster robot in Robot Wars consisted of two or more parts. The programme’s then host Craig Charles said in 2000 at the end of the heat f final battle when Tornado beat Gemini to reach the semi finals, “The rules say that a cluster robot, that’s a robot of two or more parts, after it separates, if one of those parts breaks down for more than 30 seconds and is immobilised for more than 30 seconds, cause it’s only one robot, then it’s out, so the winner is Tornado”. The Gemini robot consisted of two parts.


Anyway, I cut up the box for the DVD as well as the slogan’s plastic covering, and I got this used squash bottle, put all the cut up bits of both discs for the DVD, and the cut up box, and the cut up plastic covering for the slogan inside the bottle, and I rolled up the slogan, and put it inside the bottle as well. I then filled the bottle up with water and went to bed soon after.


The next morning, I got up, and I started wrapping the bottle up with kitchen paper and sellotape, and soon afterwards, as planned, I shook it to six songs on YouTube. I had already wrapped it up pretty well by the time I shook it to the first song. The reason for that is because I knew that once again there would be a real mess inside the bottle even if I’d have shaken it to just one song. Here is a list of six songs I have shaken the bottle to, some of which have been mentioned earlier on in this section.


1. Secret Affair - Let Your Heart Dance

2. 10cc - Life Is A Minestrone

3. The Clash - Tommy Gun

4. Pink Floyd - Sheep

5. Freeez - Flying High

6. Wham! - Last Christmas


I completed my no ordinary hotel on Saturday the 14th of October 2017. I have painted it yellow and have given it the name ‘The Supertramp & Journey Hotel’, which is a homage to two great bands of the past, Supertramp and Journey despite both those bands not doing quite the same material as each other.


This is the truth, Supertramp were originally called ‘Daddy’, but changed their name to ‘Supertramp’, a moniker inspired by The Autobiography Of A Super-Tramp by W. H. Davies, who wrote the familiar lines, “What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare”. Journey are a rock band who had a hit with Any Way You Want It in 1980. Apparently, they’re not quite as famous as some other bands, but what the hell?


Anyway, the ground floor of ‘The Supertramp & Journey Hotel’ has a reception area and a restaurant area, the first floor has a bar area and a swimming area, the second floor has bedrooms, and the third and top floor has a party area. Below this paragraph is a picture I have taken of ‘The Supertramp & Journey Hotel’, once again in the toilet south-west.


On Thursday the 19th of October 2017, I gave the ‘Supertramp & Journey’ Hotel to one of my support workers to give to a woman he knows who lives in Southampton. I’m not going to say what her name is in case I don’t have the right to mention it on my website. Four weeks earlier, the 22nd of September 2017, I had given him my ‘Car & Dolphin’ Funhouse to give to the woman’s husband whose name I won’t mention either for exactly the same reason.